This issue of the newsletter is dedicated to the seismic news that Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird have separated. Their relationship was more than just a romance to watch and gossip about. It helped change the world.
— Veronica
The Break-up.
most photos are mine.
On a rainy Seattle day I was asked to be the voice of Sue Bird and I eagerly said yes. It was the summer of 2019 and my family was in town to check out the University of Washington for my daughter. It was also the day of the US Women's World Cup semifinal. Chris Daniels, a reporter from KING5, found us nervously awaiting the start of the match at a bar the internet told me was the place to be.
It was also in the midst of the feud a certain president was having with Megan Rapinoe and earlier that day Sue Bird had published, “So the President F*cking Hates My Girlfriend Megan Rapinoe.” Days before that Megan had been asked if the US Women’s National Team (USWNT) would go to the White House if they won the World Cup. She responded by sharing she didn’t think they would get an invite and in her usual blunt manner added, “I’m not going to the fucking White House.” And in Tr*mp’s usual manner ranted about her and the USWNT’s fight for pay equity.
The USWNT already knew they needed to win the World Cup to continue to prove their case against US Soccer. Now the president was trashing them on Twitter? Then Sue’s essay was published and it was filled with smart sports analysis and oozing with love and admiration.
Sometime during the interview Chris asked me if I would read a part of Sue’s essay. Who said parasocial relationships don’t pay off?
Parasocial relationships can be beneficial. In this case, Sue and Megan’s relationship was not just the Sapphic fairy tale many of us needed, but one that offered hope for a better world. And urged us to make the world better.
Megan and Sue hit it off at the 2016 Rio Olympics. The details Megan offers in her memoir, One Life. Megan was engaged to someone else, but the connection between Megan & Sue was too strong. One day at the end of summer OL Reign was in Chicago and Megan was took up a teammate’s suggestion that they go to a Sky-Storm game.
And I was there.
When I read that line in the memoir I flipped out. WE WERE THERE. My ex spotted Megan, I didn’t believe him, but sure enough my daughter and I found Megan in the crowd. She was great to meet. Megan was already a growing voice for equality and soon she would be in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick by kneeling during the national anthem.
That gesture took the work Kaepernick was doing into the very white space of women’s soccer. And wow, those debates were heated and challenged USWNT fans to consider how we would be in solidarity or joined the trolls saying Megan was too outspoken.
Soon both the National Women’s Soccer League and US Soccer wrote rules to get Megan to stop taking a knee. Then some WNBA teams would do the same by having the players stay in the locker room during the anthem.
Women’s sports are political because to have women and girls play sports, we had to get political.
We had to pass Title IX. We had to sue to play baseball. We had to fight off men to run. We had to create our own leagues. And so much more.
Over the ten years we have been invited to the public end of Megan & Sue’s relationship, we have witnessed them be the first gay couple pose for the ESPN body issue, snap back at a president, fight for pay equity, confront the homophobia in how women’s sports was/is marketed, and most recently, used their podcast to champion those of us working to keep our immigrant neighbors safe.
Women’s sports is vastly different today than it was when they first hooked up. And they were a large part of the change, making the change, and bringing new fans in.
There is room for critique for how they were using this power they had. My biggest beef is their continued hawking of AI via Google. It’s just gross. And days before the break-up Megan announced she joined Substack. Read why Substack is gross.
That said, when the news hit and I shared it on my Instagram stories, I got a lot of “Love is dead,” messages. And not just from my queer friends. That’s what happens with fairy tales and icons. GOATs in love? We had front row seats to that show.
I admit to thinking, “If not them, who stands a chance?”
But I did calm down and consider that we got to witness a queer couple love each other hard, publicly, and be embraced by a lot of people. We watched them hype each other up. Build up women’s sports together. Redefine what power couple means. So to dismiss their love because they broke up is disrespectful to them, their work, and what we experienced, even if it feels like it protects our hearts.
Then I go back to thinking that love isn’t real and it is best to not expect to find someone who loves me the way I love women’s sports.
While this newsletter and the larger project of supporting women’s sports is my passion project, I still need to buy groceries and buy nachos at games.
An additional way to support this newsletter is to subscribe, share on socials, and forward to your friend who keeps inviting you to women’s sporting events.